Mixtape Monday: sex, lies and mixtape

Posted on 20 May 2013
By Double Dagger
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The world of Double Dagger smells like sweaty balls, but they are remarkably neat and they’ve covered any tracks of trussed up hussies and gimps in gas masks well.

Graphic designers by day, post-punk by night, Double Dagger = brains, style and political activism. And hardcore DIY in action.

Heed not the sexless designer grunge vampires, for DD are the true Franklin Gothics, living, fucking and recording their album More in a derelict warehouse.

Morphing from geek-boys to punk gods on-stage, their crowds are famed for letting loose and drawing blood at their rambunctious gigs.

Bruce and Denny are graphic design duo Post Typography, working for Kanye’s mate John Legend and The New York Times. I want them working on my new band logo.

Heartbeat of the band, drummer Denny is the go-to guy. Chilled and funny, you’d call Denny to top up your stash and invite the coolest cats to your house party or desert session.

We make a mixtape. DD draw their orgasm faces and write rock haikus under three minutes. They even have their own pens. DD take to the stage. Nolen is armed with an extra long mic lead, getting up in people’s faces, rolling about possessed. No blood tonight. Or on the rest of the UK tour. Pussies.

Wiping Nolen’s sweat off my face, I dream of the new Purple Revolver Double Dagger collaboration snuff DVD line, with a font to make you moist and Goth Lolitas ang grungy rockers fucking in the desert sunrise to a grindcore soundtrack.

Side A: Turn offs
1. Flip-flops on girls
2. Using Helvetica so everything looks like an American Apparel advert or Comic Sans font (goofy)

Turn ons
3. My wife. Manga girls – exaggerated features, when girls look like cartoons. I grew up as a comic book nerd.
4. Goth girls
5. Slutty girls or girls in suits. I like it when girls dress slutty and trashy. But there’s a fine line between slutty and trashy. I like it when girls wear suits too.

Sexiest music videos
6. Madonna – Take A Bow, with the matador
7. Salt N Pepa – Push It and
Sir Mix-A-Lot – Baby Got Back
8. Any Veruca Salt video

Side B: Sex tips
1. Take a shower together
2. No music during sex, weird connotations with that tune. Get cussed out when fucking in time to the drums.
3. Black Sabbath/His Hero Is Gone = superheavy, superdark grindcore, v.political
4. No fellatio in the shower as you will drown

Sex fantasies
5. Underwater
6. Gimp mask. Restriction, fully clothed, with rubber sheets
7. Abe Lincoln hat. Monocles.

8. Grunge revival, we wanna see people getting into rowdy hijinks
9. Good music making a comeback, less solo projects and more collaborations
10. If people like Ke$ha can get record deals Mill Vanilli should get back their confiscated 1990 BNA award after their lip-synching scandal.

This is an excerpt from the (limited edition) Über zine rare imprint issue #5.

Buy it for £1.85 (standard UK delivery) from the online shop: