What You Need to Know Before Seeing ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Posted on 16 February 2015
By Carlton Whitfield
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You may think you know everything there is to know about Fifty Shades of Grey. Maybe you read each book (a number of times), and you’ve taken up writing FSOG fan fiction as a hobby. Maybe you’ve collected all the pieces of commemorative FSOG jewelry and even bought the themed Vermont Teddy Bear. Hey, no judgments.

But without seeing the film, you could still be in the dark as much as the rest of us. Although the movie hasn’t hit the States yet, here’s what we know you can expect from its Valentine’s Day premiere.

Rita Ora Only Has Four Lines
Because she was one of the bigger stars given a role, and because it was her first appearance on the silver screen, Rita Ora’s involvement in Fifty Shades of Grey has been heavily hyped since production started. Unfortunately for Ora fans, it seems that the extent of her involvement was blown slightly out of proportion. NME recently reported that the pop star only has four lines in the film, and her total screen time is less than two minutes.

“Holy Cow!”
If you read the book, you know how jarring it was to read that Ana actually screamed this ridiculous phrase out in ecstasy at one point. You’d be more surprised to learn that despite its goofy delivery, the line somehow made it into the film.

Even more hilarious than the line avoiding the cutting room floor was that it actually inspired its own sex toy, the 50 Shades of Grey Holy Cow! Wand Massager. Adam and Eve describes the hilariously named toy and other products in the FSOG adult toy line as everything you need to recreate your own moment of passion, perhaps causing you to scream the phrase yourself.

Every Nipple and Butt Has Been Accounted For
An early screening of Fifty Shades of Grey allowed those at MTV the privilege of taking into account the important things, like how many times you got to see someone’s naughty bits. Their infographic revealed there are 19 minutes and 31 seconds of sexytime in the film. They also accounted for every instance that showed a character’s backside, nipples, and bush, in case you’re interested.

Jamie Dornan Hopes The Film Will Better Your Sex Life
According to People, Dornan told reporters at the film’s world premiere in Berlin, “I’d be delighted, if Fifty Shades of Grey would have an actual impact on people’s sex lives [after seeing the movie].” Given that people aren’t tripping over themselves to see the film for its plot, there’s a decent chance his wish will be granted. There’s 19 minutes and 31 seconds of inspiration to take away from it after all.

We can’t guarantee the film will live up to the visuals you painted in your mind, but having a face to put to the name should definitely help.

See you at the show.