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Lets get this out the way, Valentines Day is ridiculous. I’ve been in a healthy relationship for nearly three years and we don’t really do Valentines Day, because we’re a pair of ‘anti-corporate lefties’ – as those pesky wall builders would put it – who don’t need a day to celebrate our love for one another.
But if we were to go out for an extravagant meal on the second biggest corporate greed binge of the year – the first being Christmas. We’d stick one of the following movies on (after our ‘Valentines’ package at the nearest hipster restaurant/bar). So if you’re planning on doing the same this Valentines Day, or just spending it alone, crying, pretending you were Anthony Michael Hall in Weird Science, take a look at the following.
10. (500) Days of Summer
If we’re being honest, (500) Days of Summer is probably a bit too mainstream to appear in our exclusive weirdo library isn’t it? But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a sobering look at the 21st Century relationship. Clever and offbeat, Summer has great control over it’s fractured narrative, proving the one isn’t always the one.
9. Annie Hall
If you’re reading this list you’re probably thinking ‘I’ve dragged myself away from beat poetry and craft beer for this!? There better be some Woody Allen’. Well rest assured, Annie Hall is an American classic exploring the comical up and down relationship between a New York City TV writer and his aspiring actress/singer girlfriend – originally from the Midwest. Devastating humour and brilliant performances, for whom many movies owe a debt.
8. Bride of Frankenstein
We’ve covered the geeks, now it’s time for the freaks (like me!). Every so often, I drag myself out of my bat filled cave to watch a film or two – out of those two movies, The Bride of Frankenstein is by far the most romantic. Consumed by his God ego, Dr.Frankenstein once again tempts fate by creating a mate for his monster – this time with ridiculous hair – in a sequel that arguably surpasses the original.
7. Scott Pilgrim vs The World
Ever wondered what could be more romantic than endless video game references and defeating seven evil ex’s in order to rescue the Princess from her castle? Well if you haven’t left your Mum’s basement, you probably haven’t. A slick script and eye-popping visuals make Scott Pilgrim vs The World easily the most underrated movie in Edgar Wrights filmography.
6. Her
As most of us are already teetering on the tightrope of admiration and genuine romantic relationship with our smartphones anyway, Her isn’t the outlandish premise some would have you believe. What it is however, is a smart commentary on the state of modern human-on-human relationships (remember them?).
5. Natural Born Killers
At it’s core, Natural Born Killers is a look at mass violence and mass media beyond it’s time. Whilst it’s tones of satire and brutality rattled critics at the time, it’s the vehicle of Generation Y’s Bonnie and Clyde – Mickey and Mallory’s relationship that really carries the movie. Don’t pretend that you’ve never had the same conversation with your significant other.
4. Blue is the Warmest Colour
Too arthouse for the Dirty Dancing crowd. Blue is the Warmest Colour is organic, frank, vigorously performed, and delectable. Offering some of modern cinema’s most seductively constructed, devotedly captivating drama.
3. Let the Right One In
There’s something about a celibate relationship between a 200-year-old vampire and a 12-year-old boy that makes for truly enchanting picture. A cerebral take on the vampire genre, Let the Right One In is one of modern cinemas greatest movies. Just don’t pick up the American remake by mistake.
2. Edward Scissorhands
The Godfather of Gothic love stories, it’s likely that growing up as an outsider you identified with either Edward or Kim in the Tim Burton classic. Filled with beautiful images and chemistry, it’d be easy to be sniffy at Edward Scissorhands and dismiss it as emo-pish, instead of the modern fairytale it is.
1. True Romance
Fueled by Quentin Tarantino’s savvy screenplay and a gallery of oddball performances, Tony Scott’s True Romance is a funny and violent action jaunt in the best sense. Clarence and Alabama’s whirlwind romance is a love story for the ages, based on the foundation of two people who would go to Hell and back just to be with each other. “You’re so cool”.
Watch True Romance on the big screen this Valentines Day at The Merchant, Liverpool for free via Grindhouse. Click here to confirm your attendance: https://www.facebook.com/TheMerchantLiverpool/photos/gm.1094774200633920/1225577597549552/?type=3&theater
This article was first published on Jay’s blog Jumpscare here: https://jumpscareuk.co/2017/02/11/valentines-day-a-movie-guide-for-freaks-geeks/