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Hipsterism is dying. We have seen it lying in the gutter in Williamsburg and Silverlake, gasping for breath, begging for loose change and ideas.
But the handlebar moustaches will soon curl for the last time and the meaningless sleeve tattoos fade to ashen grey.
Too many trust funds have been spent in the futile pursuit of looking cool, and possessing off the peg American Apparel Hipster accessories – but with nothing to say. The party was crashed and now it’s over.
Meanwhile Dov Charney is grimacing all the way to the bank in a gold plated wheelchair and wearing his original skid row undies.
The early 90s Grunge Revival is upon us and fully taken hold (picture report to follow – watch this space) Thrift store couture remains but now it is the Kurt Cobain dopplegangers and drab colours of Seattle’s grunge movement that will dominate the UK in the coming months.
Hipsterism was an aesthetic amusement at first. But we will soon have to ask ourselves what will its coffee and Pabst beer-stained legacy be on the kids.
These Digital Natives are on the rise, who know nothing of music tribalism and the power of identity it gifts you in later life.
When the Hipster Autopsy is carried out in 18 years Mark Ronson’s The Bike Song will be played at the inquest as evidence of their swansong.
With this happy-go-plucky tune, the ever-dapper superproducer has created the biggest and most heartfelt Hipster Anthem.
Ronson’s melody celebrates the once pure pursuit of cyclical longing to not belong.
Far from a Tour de Farce – the video hints at the dark future for Hipsters worldwide. The bike theft and bold business colours of the clothes spell the end for drop out Hipsterism.
Filmed by Warren Fu on the mean streets of Bermondsey. The video shows that the Hipster movement might have shot forth in Brooklyn, but it’s due to take a steely blade to the throat in South London.
The lyrics also allude to the impending cultural recovery and proclaim the time to get serious and down to the business at hand:
“My momma says that I should stop and go and get a real job.”
“But that can’t be the way that I roll.”
These are the brakes.
As a little light-hearted relief for the self-proclaimed and mentally dead Hipster community of Liverpool, Ronson has revealed that it was The Zutons frontman Dave McCabe who came up with the lyrics for The Bike Song.
But Hipsters beware — if you see Dave riding his Bike on Slater Street, don’t ask him ’bout it, with your fading health you couldn’t take another Huyton kiss headbutt.
Mark Ronson played The Shipping Forecast Weds, Oct, 20. http://www.theshippingforecastliverpool.com/ Check the gallery here.
Ronson and The Business Intl ~ Record Collection: including The Bike Song is out now.